November 11, 2018 is said to be a day of manifestations. I believe so too. Yes, I am a firm believer in God and I feel he chooses to talk to each of us in a different way. I have always seen a series of numbers at various times in my life. This past week has been filled with 333, 444, and a few 777. During this time I have also come across talks and videos from people that continue to inspire positive change and help explain some of the other changes I am going through. Moments that I know are manifested by God.
Michael Frisina, PhD is one of the speakers I had the pleasure and honor of meeting on Friday. He is a very firm believer in 333. The morning I was driving to the hotel for the conference I saw a car with a license plate with that number on the off ramp right in front of me. I looked up to smile and saw another one of the heart shaped clouds that has been filling my skies. I knew something amazing would take place that day. Dr. Frisina’s talk resonated with me when he was explaining about how a caterpillar goes into a metamorphosis to become a butterfly and that even the same creature doesn’t have the same DNA once that process is over. Crazy!
That got me thinking to this journey. I started as one person and there is no way I was able to stay the same woman that I was a year ago. I look back and I see some similarities but more changes that anything else. Changes that allow me to spread my wings and fly. During a talk with him after the seminar he mentioned how you can’t help the butterfly come out of its chrysalis, it must do it on its own or it dies. Same for this journey again. The struggles and obstacles I faced and still face at times are ones that I must navigate alone to really grow. It’s not that people haven’t offered help, but there were things that told me I had to do it myself. Dr. Frisina also mentioned how we can’t change until our way of thinking changes. Yes, yes, and YES! As we sat in the Monarch Ballroom (yes, that was really the name of where this happened) I thought of the numbers and realized he was the third person to confirm much of what I was thinking and feeling as well.
Last night I was in the kitchen with my two oldest children and we were putting things away. We started laughing about a joke and out of no where flew in a little white moth. All three of us smiled and said, “Hi dad!” Mark, would never be left out of family time, especially when laughter and jokes were involved. That happened to be the third little white moth I had seen since Friday’s talk with Dr. Frisina. I went to bed knowing the next day would be November 11, 2018, also known as 11-11-11. What would happen?
This morning I woke up and checked my email before getting out of bed. I went on Facebook to watch hi-lights of friends who went to the Bruno Mars concert last night and then another video came across my screen. It was one from another motivational speaker named Trent Shelton and was titled, “Your Heart Will Heal.” Another video filled with messages that confirm this path I’m on is correct, full of healing, and making its way to a very positive future.
Life has definitely not been easy since Mark passed but I also know it could’ve been much harder. The biggest changes have been in my outlook on career and also diving back into the dating pool. Yes, it did take certain things in my life to completely fall apart for better things to make their way into my life. I had to realize not to settle on anything.
I will never understand why we’ve had to go through Mark’s death, answering difficult questions from my children that don’t have real answers, continuing to feel heart ache and rejection on parts of this journey, and why certain moments turned out they way they did. That is until I sat there and realized I was no longer that caterpillar. Those moments, those people were the difficulties that were my chrysalis to have to come out of. That difficulty produced the most growth and strength inside to give me the power to choose what direction my life was going, all manifested through God. Trusting the process and struggles have been my biggest lesson. The hurt and broken me is turning out to be the best me. A “me” I wish Mark could see. He always saw in me more than I ever believed existed. I know without a doubt that he and God have worked to make these struggles and some of the hardest times become some some of the best days. This is in turn, creating a better mom for my children and showing them life happens and we roll with it. They are also experiencing major growth too!
The most uncomfortable paths take us to the most beautiful destinations, yes. Why? Those paths are not easy to travel and not everyone believes they can make it. If you’re reading this, believe you can and will do it. Believe that you have within you what you need to make it through this storm. When in doubt, look up. Ask God for his help because he is always listening. Everyday is a new beginning and it is up to us to make it a good one. Our outlook and how we respond to what it thrown at us helps determine that. So on this 11-11-11, what will it bring? I hope one of positive transformations and beginnings for us all.