Glowstick

Who would have ever compared themselves to a glowstick? I never thought of it until I saw the quote, “It’s okay to be a glowstick; sometimes we need to break before we shine.” A sentiment has never rang so true in my life. I sat in my room last night looking at the floor with so many thoughts racing through my head. So many questions about the future and so many whys left unanswered. Then I thought of the glowstick.

In the past few months I have been that glowstick. I’ve been broken in so many ways. Yet I also realized that for the first time since Mark passed, life is starting to move forward in so many positive ways. Ways I could’ve only imagined and ways that I never thought possible. It took me being broken to have the courage to go out in the world and just try. Then the quote by Mary Tyler Moore came up, “You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” So true!

I think you find a bravery in yourself when you feel you have nothing to lose. When your spirit and heart are already broken, what else can break? That’s when you find the strength and bravery that’s been in you all along. The strength and bravery needed to finally shine. So I went and did what any former pageant girl would do and went straight to my closet and tried on my shiniest dresses. To my surprise, it fit! It was as if I put on the clothes of a super hero and I was able to look at myself in the mirror and say, “I got this!”

Life is uncertain and I have no clue where tomorrow leads. I do know that if I trust my heart and have the bravery to keep moving forward, it’ll soon be my time to shine. Am I a glowstick? Sure.

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