Strength

This Is Us, one of my favorite shows. Tonight’s episode made me love Mandy Moore’s character, Rebecca, even more. I looked at her and saw myself. For the first time I saw the strength everyone says I have on the television screen in front of me.

Every moment that played out on the screen brought me back to that fateful morning. The scenes replayed just as they were on screen but instead of being the cast of This Is Us, it was the real life people that were there that day. The difference this time, I didn’t end up in tears at the thoughts of that morning.

First. Time. Ever. No tears. Nope, I didn’t lose my ability to feel or become heartless. Instead, I found strength. A strength that has been getting me through the past few months. A strength that has allowed life to go on with little interruption for the kids, and for me. No, I haven’t lost my heart. My heart has finally started to beat again.

That day, that moment, doesn’t define me. It is a part of me and will always be. How could it not? It is a day that forever changed the lives of so many. How I chose to let it change me was up to me. I am not the same person I was before that morning. I chose that failure was not ever going to be an option. Time was needed to realize many things. Some may call it strength, I call it the choice to keep living.

6 thoughts on “Strength

  1. I thought of you during tonight’s show so much! You and Rebecca have the same strength for your kids! It made me cry for you but it made me proud because you are such a strong Mom for your ohana! You are an inspiration and I’m happy you have This Is Us to relate to! I love you Sarah Beppu! 💖

    Like

  2. I too marvel at this show and it’s timing and parallels with your life. Crying while watching is the norm for this show, but tonight, during the hospital scene, I was crying and saying “I’m so sorry, Sarah” over and over again. I too was seeing you, and not Rebecca. I truly am so sorry. I watch this show in a different light now. And I know that must be so many more moments and minutes that you’ve had to experience that won’t be portrayed in a weekly hour long show. But I see your strength, girl, I see your love.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s