I absolutely love “This Is Us.” I still remember watching the very first episode sitting next to Mark on the couch. Every week we’d comment on stories of our friendship and how we became an “us.” We were never sure when those feelings went from being just friends to love because it was so natural.
Everything about us felt so natural. We could sit next to other and be so content and so incredibly happy. I would lean my head on his shoulder and he would turn and kiss my forehead. Life turned into always being “Mark and Sarah.” It was as if one wasn’t complete without the other. Isn’t that how fairytales go?
We could go to parties or functions for work individually but we were still “Mark and Sarah.” No matter what. Like Oreos and milk, jeans and a comfy shirt, we complimented each other so well. We could exist independently but together, Mark and Sarah could conquer the world. We did. Until the day it felt the world conquered us.
The day Mark died a part of me went with him. A part of me that will never come back. The part that is now making me learn to live this life as just Sarah. To not have Mark is to feel like everything has been turned upside down and inside out. The ground was broken open that morning and the happily ever after I thought we had was in some sort of free fall while I was trying to make sense of it all.
It still doesn’t make sense. I am slowly learning to navigate this new course. I don’t want to but I know I have to. Failure is not an option. After 17 years I am learning how to be Sarah without Mark. It feels like learning how to walk again. I have come to one conclusion. The day a part of me left with Mark, he also left a part of him with me. That part will help me learn to take life one step and one breath at a time with my head held high because I will always be thankful for the blessing that was Mark and Sarah.